Fangirl'd
by LadyInglorion
Summary: The poor people of Middle Earth thought they were done fighting to save their homes, but now Sauron has released his most devastating blow yet, a group capable of mutilating entire fandoms at a time - the Fangirls. (NOTE: This is not a MarySue story, as it is purely intended to poke fun at just that.)


**_Prologue _**

**_The Dark Eye was falling. Aragorn could see it from the battlefield; Gandalf, riding between the shoulder blades of the great eagle Gwaihir could see it from the air. And Legolas and Gimli, standing back to back, could see it from their place beside Merry and Pippin. But most importantly the Orcs and Uruk saw it fall, and they would not serve a master who could no longer hold sway over their weak and bumbling minds. Gone from their heads were thoughts of bloodlust and they bolted, releasing their great Troll slaves and fleeing to the mountains through the exhausted throng of Gondorian Men without so much as a snarl. Cheers and rejoicing issued upward from the assembled army; thrown were hats into the air, sheathed were bloodied swords, loosed were merry cries filled with joy and happiness, the likeness of which had not been heard in many months. Friends clasped each other's hands and indeed each other's entire bodies in embraces. Tears of gladness rained down dirtied cheeks, and the new King clambered upon a pinnacle of rock above the survivors with his elf-friend and dwarf companion at his side, and he led them in a rousing, laudable shanty._**

**_But perhaps their celebration developed too quickly; for at that moment, the volcano of Mount Doom erupted violently, sending molten lava cascading down upon its slopes. Explosions shook the ground below the army's feet as the mountain exploded from the inside out, and here is why._**

**_Sauron was not quite so dead as Men were led to believe; even the wizard did not know that his soul persisted after the tower's plummet. But this it did, and the black, writhing mass of ashes that was the Dark Lord slithered and wound its way like a worm to the heart of the volcano. For it was there he had engineered one final fail-safe, one final trick up his sleeve in case the Ring were ever to be destroyed… _**

**_The Ring was gone, that was certain, but in the place where It had made contact with the lava there was now a glowing red circle. Larger and larger it grew before Sauron's dying eyes until finally it had a six-meter diameter. Light burst out from around its perimeter and the volcano trembled perilously. Suddenly, the circle caved in on itself, creating a gaping, dark chasm in the center of the great lava lake. A stone walkway appeared leading to the shoreline from the hole. Sauron fidgeted restlessly; his time was almost up, and he deeply desired the satisfaction of seeing his final and greatest work completed. Sparks began to fly sporadically from the mouth of the hole; the fading Dark Lord leaned in. A roar like a Nazgul's claws against a chalkboard shattered rocks throughout the cavern. The lava lake bubbled and swirled aggressively. Again the earth trembled. The chasm belched hot purple sparks and steam, obscuring Sauron's already limited view. There came a loud _****BANG****_ and from the mist stepped the Dark Lord's greatest malice yet._**

**_It was female, no more than sixteen years of age, and wore bizarre skintight blue pants and a shirt with short sleeves that appeared to be made of cotton. She was very tiny, possessed plain brown hair and plain brown eyes, and came wielding no weapon of any sort. Yet Sauron chuckled menacingly, unable to contain his cruel delight. Another _****BANG****_ and two more females joined the first on the rocky pathway toward the shore. They were very much similar, except one was grossly overweight and was in desperate need of sunlight. Sauron's evil chuckling only deepened. Before long, there were several hundred young people (primarily female) wandering around the heart of Mount Doom. What was all this madness, and who were these females that Sauron was teleporting into Middle Earth?_**

**Fangirls. **

**_Sauron's most deadly weapon yet. And soon would come a time when the sanctity of Aragorn's new kingdom, the great elven cities, and even peaceful lands as far west as little Hobbiton would be thrown into peril, and later these years would become known as the hardest Middle Earth had or would ever see again._**


End file.
